One thing that strikes me when I see the new guys entering the world of pickup is that they’re very accustomed to being the ones selected by girls. I mean, when you’re learning the skills to attract women you have to make many approaches, you see a set of girls and you approach them, hoping that the conversation doesn’t go sour.

And maybe you are making the mistake of not selecting the girl you want to attract before you made the approach.

Ok, I understand when that happens to the new guys. They are so focus on keep the conversation going that they turn their attention to the first girl that seem interested in them. But, what’s the point of that? You learn to attract women so that you have the power to attract the girl you want, not the first girl who’s giving you her attention. If you dig deeper you’ll understand why this happen:

Many of these guys are attracting the first or second girl in their lives. It’s only natural that they get excited and forget the girl that made them make the approach.

Now, I want you to ask yourself a question. When it comes to women and dating, are you the one selecting the girl you like?

Many of us struggle to approach and attract girls. And let me tell you: if you don’t have the skills to attract women you’ll be the one who’s getting selected all the time. And I’m being optimistic; many guys don’t get selected at all.

The coaching profession today is exploding…. Some coaches are certified and some aren’t. Some specialize in a specific area of life, i.e. business, relationships, money, spirituality, and some just take a general overview of your whole life. There have been articles; television shows that talk of life make-overs; Oprah has her own stable of coaches (some of whom appear on the cover the National Inquirer!) How can you find out more about what’s possible with a coach and why it might be important to you living your best life?

This article will answer that question with many compelling reasons to begin a coaching relationship. But first, let’s look at the 7 pitfalls that people (women specifically) can fall into trying to make it in today’s world. As you read them, take each of them to heart–enter into the feelings and thoughts that accompany each one—try it on and see what you notice arising in you.

This is the One of the Boys perspective. Things get delegated from the top down with no collaboration, just supporting the status quo. We’ve all experienced it. In order to get credibility or respect we will follow the rules and subjugate our authentic selves to fit in. Wanting to be in the ‘club’ is natural, but wearing a mask has a cost–our individuality and uniqueness.

Are you a Superwoman? Do you do it all, impressing everyone with your super competency, becoming indispensable? Well the end result I’ve seen from being this way is becoming a Martyr. Overworking yourself, because only you can do it perfectly, only leads to exhaustion and a feeling of resentment towards others, who never appreciate you enough. Righteousness with lots of judging others will drain your body and soul, making you dependent on the recognition from outside yourself.

Do you feel like you have no voice? No power?  That you’ve tried over and over but nothing ever changes, so you give up all your sense of choice? You have no recourse, nothing will ever turn out for you, everyone is against you and you just shut down to get by. By not taking any responsibility–it’s always someone else’s fault–you remain innocent but the price is helplessness. Hard to create any dreams from here.

Many women have been taught that they will be rescued, so why take on anything themselves? Someone else has their answers and will sweep into their lives (one day) and take care of things–there’s no need to take action. My ‘real’ life will begin when I meet the right partner; take the right workshop; find the right job. In this scenario you become seduced by a myth that the answers aren’t within you. It can seem like an easy road, a free ride. Unfortunately you stay stuck as you wait…and wait….and wait.

Be the good girl. Do what your mother always did. Don’t rock the boat. Don’t create confrontation. Make sure everyone else is comfortable. Always bring sugar–which means ‘don’t be your real self’! We are all humans and have upsets, but the good girl can never share hers. This is a lonely perspective, where you will never be truly known. Perhaps it will seem like there is peace, but it is only a façade. It surprises many how these ‘gremlin’ voices can be disguised as sweet Pollyannas!

Never stop moving! Always be busy because your value lies fully in what you produce. Talk fast, multi-task, as Nike says: Just do it. Live in the myth that you are controlling time. The problem here is that you never can rest or listen to your own inner voice. How could you ever hear it when you’re agitated, restless and distracted? When you’re disconnected from your authentic heart, how real is your life?

This is the result of not making changes when you know they’re called for. Giving beyond what is reasonable as a human being, you lose your vitality, your spark and your clarity for what matters. Did you have a vision or a dream?  Is it lost?  That feeling of fatigue in your bones won’t go away and neither will the emptiness in your heart. Emotionally, you run the gamut from numb to being triggered by everything–tears or rage can erupt at any moment. When the price is this high, it’s clearly time to seek new strategies for living your best life!

Want to leave these unworkable strategies for life behind? Ready to create your fulfilling life? Let’s take a look at this thing called Coaching and the ways it can empower you to living your True Life. While you, as the client, are always in charge of your agenda and focus, your coach can assist you in becoming the Sovereign of your world.

Without conscious awareness of who you are, what you value and what are the hidden jewels of your heart, it’s very difficult to create your most meaningful life. The big job of coaching is all about fulfillment–what will bring you alive the most; finding authentic self-expression, joy and balance.

Here are some of the compelling reasons to hire a coach and create a powerful alliance to deepen your experience of life and move forward to living your dreams.

Life is certainly rich and we have, in our time, millions of opportunities and choices to make. But if you’re not clear on which ones are truly aligned with who you are, chances are they won’t bring you the satisfaction you want. Coaching is all about clarifying—your innate values, your vision, your goals. When you do this you discover not just what you want, but what you don’t want. Many people live their lives tolerating so much of what they have already. When you let go of these things and create a solid foundation, life becomes more rich and satisfying–you experience a lot more harmony when your choices line up with who you are.

With all the popularity of The Secret, many people are now talking about the Law of Attraction. Coaching steps in deeper by examining your beliefs and helping you upgrade your beliefs to ones that support who you are and what kind of reality you want to live in. This includes designing new perspectives of abundance and choice, rather than letting scarcity thinking–there’s never enough, I’m never enough–guide you. Questioning beliefs that you may have lived with for quite a long time can help you find your own truth. Turning around old thinking that isn’t necessarily true gives you more freedom to live as your real self today. Coaching offers these tools and the steady support to use them.

To be a great coaching client and get great results, you need to be curious. Curiosity is the foundation of learning. Coaching is all about learning who you are and acting on that knowledge. Embracing the perspective of a Learner is a challenge in a world that always expects us to have the answers. But it’s the learners that will bring the flexibility, curiosity and awareness to the world–their self-esteem isn’t predicated on what they know or on being right; it’s all about being successful. When we learn and expand our world, we can then take action in line with that learning–creating authenticity and continued discovery to help us move forward. Bigger awareness leads to better results. And in that awareness lays the path to bringing our true contribution to the world.

Have you ever told yourself you’d do something and didn’t? We all do.  The power of the coaching alliance is that when you give your word to your coach–something different happens. Since your coach holds you as always resourceful, creative and whole, she knows you can do what you say, if you’re ready. There’s a ‘being held’ in a way like no other. And as we learn to keep our commitments to our coach, we develop more self-trust that leads us keeping them to ourselves. There is a power to the coaching relationship that happens outside of regular time and in Kairos, or sacred time. It is here that we can see ourselves so clearly and what’s possible that we take action we might never have imagined on our own.

Many people go through life thinking that they must do the job, to have the stuff to be who they really are. In fact this theorem goes just the opposite way. You be who you truly are, to have the self-esteem, confidence and clarity to do what feels meaningful and on purpose. Coaching helps you step into the space of Being–where you can really know who you are and fall in love with yourself and life–a feeling a lot of us had in childhood. To experience states of being is to be in the present moment. To know love and peace and creativity–all of these are in the Now. If we let ourselves be run by Velocity Jane, life flies by in a blur and we miss the best moments of all.

Have you noticed that Life is a Mystery? That you can’t control everything and push the river to make it go where you want? Today, more than ever, we must learn to let go and embrace change. Staying in a contracted State only solidifies resistance, and as someone said, ‘Resistance is futile.’ In coaching we take a stand that change is here for our highest good and the good of all we touch. Instead of resisting, we surrender to wisdom beyond our own. Many things are going on beyond our five senses, so we learn to listen deeply to our intuition and tap into that bigger Source. This actually brings relief, freedom and new eyes to see the world. We can embrace life as a possibility and adventure!

Have you ever had someone in your life that holds no agenda for you besides what you yourself say you want? Have you ever been seen so deeply that is creates a feeling of empowerment you’ve never known before? Your coach is your packed house, your cheering crowd! It doesn’t mean your Coach isn’t honest with you–on the contrary, truthfulness is foundational. Your coach though will call you away from your inner and outer critics, and truly ‘get’ you. Having an objective sounding board, being acknowledged and championed just gives you more momentum for more success. Haven’t you always wanted to be in a relationship with someone who saw your best self, truly saw the most extraordinary you and would never let you forget that that’s who you are?

So, 7 unhealthy perspectives to fall into one way and 7 empowering reasons to choose another path–which one will you take? Which road takes you where you want to be; gives you what you want to feel and helps you create the life you’ve been longing for? Are you hearing the call to hire a coach and become the Sovereign of your Life? At this moment, what small action can you take that will begin the journey home to your True Self? Only you… the best You can do it!

Making a woman laugh is one of the greatest things you can do to make yourself look more appealing and get more women, period. If celebrity culture teaches us anything, it is that men who know how to make women laugh have just a slight advantage over the ones that make women drool. Any man that can make women laugh has a good chance at winning her heart. Women love men who make them laugh because they feel comfortable around them and are more likely to give them an opportunity to purse them. Learning how to make women laugh is simple, and by following a few short tips you can joke your way into the heart of the girl of your dreams.
Relax & Have a Good Time
Taking the stress out of the situation and making a woman laugh is all about relaxation. Forget about trying to make women laugh and concentrate on having a good time. If you are relaxed and making an effort to ensure you both are having a good time, making her laugh and relax will simply just happen. When you focus too much on jokes, you can get nervous and botch the jokes. Try telling her a funny or crazy story that you have heard recently or perhaps even survived. Revealing something, even a bizarre encounter, shows her that you are relaxed and let’s her know that she can also relax and enjoy her time with you. Just being able to relax and speak to each other on an enjoyable level can really bring things to the next level.
Smile
When you smile at a woman rather than eye her like a piece of meat, she is more inclined to relax and smile back. It is proven that smiling can actually reduce stress. This works similarly when it comes to being able to make women laugh. Smiling is a precursor to laughing, so if you tell a funny story and you are already smiling you will have inadvertently led her right into a laugh! In addition, smiling let’s her know that you are friendly and have no bad intentions, whether that’s really true or not. With that said, don’t sport an ear-to-ear grin the entire night or you’ll creep her out instead of make her laugh.
Be Happy
This one sounds like a no-brainer, but men spend so much time forcing the situation that sometimes neither party can possibly enjoy themselves. Try just being happy before you approach your dream girl, and the rest should fall into place. If you’re in a good mood, your body language will broadcast it before you’ve even opened your mouth. Unfortunately the opposite can also true so be careful. Regardless, actually being in a good mood is the best way to put others in a good mood and making them laugh. If you need to give yourself a pep talk or a shot of courage, do what you need to be happy and confident before you approach your dream girl. Be sure to pick up your free seduction report and pick up the woman of your dreams.

People have different levels of dealing with issues. Have you ever thrown in a comment in a conversation but it turned out to be disastrous? Yeah, that is what i mean. Before you learnt the different types of people we have, your jokes must have landed you in deep shit. This happens to flirting too. Men are very loose with flirtation lines and they sometimes suffer for it. When a man is flattered the reaction is different from when a girl is flattered. Flirtations are the main cause of temptations. This greatly determines the level of relationship between a man and a woman. In a recent study, single men have a tendency to look at the women they have just met in a negative light. They see them as guilty till proven innocent. When interpreting flirtation, women see it as hitting on them. Women react in a positive way after meeting the potential partner. If you flirt with a woman, chances are she will take you seriously and encourage a romantic relationship. Women might be wrong in interpreting flirtation because they are very sensitive to feelings and will open themselves to emotions at the slightest show of interest. Men flirt for fun and they do not expect anyone to take it seriously. This explains why they do not see it as a threat to romantic relationship while women find it a dangerous threat to a relationship. If a woman is not ready to leave her current relationship, she is going to be hesitant to flirt. Men who are already married will flirt around and have no fear of compromising their relationship.The study has revealed that women resist temptation if they think it can in the least affect their relationships. In other words, men are shy to ward off temptation. Men and women are different at interpreting flirtation. Men rarely see flirting as temptations. To them, it is just pure innocent interaction. This is because, according to research they are not shaken by interacting with available and attractive girls. Otherwise, if it meant anything to their constant relationships, they would be putting some effort to avoid the temptations. Some 70 unsuspecting males were used to carry out the research. They were made to flirt with attractive women after being introduced into a strategy aimed at helping them learn how to avoid flirting and tempting women.The researchers observed the reaction of all the men as they were being approached by exceptionally attractive women. Most of them ended up with start up lines like “wow, you are pretty, did the sun come out or did you just smile?” This was off course pure flirtation. Men are flirt animals and no amount of teaching strategies will change their view towards flirting. Women felt flattered and their reaction suggested that they believed every single word. Their way of interpreting flirtation might lead to more heartbreaks. No wonder they will hail abuses at a man who shows any sign of flirting without seriousness. Women are very trusting beings and they believe what they hear more than what they see.

A lot of guys have been asking me what we men should do for body language, so this column will give you the answers: how to recognize female body language, how to react to it, and how to use your own body language to flirt with women successfully, from start to finish.You have to remember that whatever you say, however you gesture your hands, arms, head, and eyes, women are NOT taking your movements at face value. If she jokes with you and you lightly push her away as if to say “Stop”, she’s taking that simple gesture as something more: interest, dis-interest, enjoyment, annoyance-any of a million different signals. She’s reading it for further suggestions as to what kind of guy you are, and what your interest in her is. Know that with body language, girls are always reading the way you move and act!Here are my “Lucky Seven” best ways to show interest:The confident eye gazeThe “Dale Head Drop”Smile!Open body languageLean in to herThumbs in beltTouch herLet’s look at each in more detail:1. The confident eye gazeThis is how you start your interest. Nothing shows confidence off the bat like meeting a girl’s eyes, and KEEPING YOUR STARE. If you see her look down and smile, you know you’ve made it and the time to approach is now. If she looks away from you but doesn’t smile, give her a shot nonetheless; just the fact that she met your eyes for a second or two shows interest.2. The Dale Head DropSo named after the guy who mastered the art of getting women rushing to his side, just with a simple shrug! If you really want to blow away a girl-and show some balls-meet a girl’s eyes, then knowingly drop your head to the side, as if to say, “Hey, you know you want me. Come over here and get me!” I’ve found this to work incredibly well in foreign countries. In the States, the girls tend to be able to see through it a bit more-but it still works!3. Smile!It’s often overlooked, but nothing communicates happiness, confidence, and interest in a girl all in one like a nice big smile. Show the girl you’re in control, show her you’re confident, show her you’re a fun guy to be around: brighten the place up with a big smile! And if your teeth need work, then get them fixed! It’s good not just for your chances of meeting a girl, but also for your health and appearance!4. Open Body LanguageSo many guys walk or sit with their arms crossed, their legs close together, and their faces anxious and flat. Stop that! Welcome a girl into your world: Have your arms open and leaned back, your legs open and relaxed, your face warm and inviting. You’ll not only attract yourself into a girl’s world, but also into the world of people at a party, club, or bar who can help you meet a future girlfriend-or even wife!5. Lean in to herAs you’re talking to a girl, especially while seated, show her your interest with confidence by leaning in closer. You don’t want to be a creep, of course, but you can generally tell by a girl’s body language and talk how interested she is in you. If things are looking good, show her your control of the situation-and interest in her-by leaning in and generally getting closer to her. Leaning back does the opposite; it shows you’re unconfident and not overly interested. Not what you want to communicate.6. Thumbs in beltEver put your thumbs in your belt, with your hands at your hips’ side? This is processed as a sign of being confident in one’s sexuality and size. So if you’re standing around at a bar or club and want to convey confidence, this will certainly be understood by girls!7. Touch her!Yup, nothing gets you closer to a girl than physical touch. Great conversations and emotional/spiritual chemistry are great, but if you really want to take it to the next level, you’ll have to eventually show some balls and touch her. I’m not talking about grabbing her and making out (unless it really is going that well and she’s flirting out of control!), but doing little things: brushing your arm by her shoulders, lightly massaging her, leading her by the arm to another location in the place. By making a physical connection, you’re giving her a sign loud and clear that you’re confident in yourself and interested in her.